Scattering ashes on Father's Day

We finally did it. After keeping my dad in a wardrobe for 3 and a half years, last weekend we finally managed to scatter his ashes. Sorry it took us so long dad, but we wanted to make it a lovely occasion. And it was.

But, no-one tells you what scattering ashes is really like. In the films, people grab a little handful each and artfully toss it into the wind, watching the cloud of dust float away and settle somewhere special. Believe me, it's not like that in real life.

Ok, we had a lovely weekend. All the extended family came to visit and finally got to meet Bean (plus many of her cousins who they hadn't had the pleasure of meeting before). We played games in the garden, enjoyed a BBQ in the sunshine (yes, the rain actually held off just long enough) and a picnic.

A select few of us went up to a beautiful spot on one of my dad's favourite walks in the Peak District, where we had put a bench in memorial, a gorgeous simple oak design with one of his favourite phrases inscribed, made by my very talented brother-in-law. And then it was time to "scatter the ashes". I will summarise the process here:

- Carry a large ugly plastic pot up to your beautiful chosen spot
- Check the wind direction (very very important, we nearly ended up with dad all over ourselves, which wasn't in his handover notes*)
- Stand around awkwardly waiting for someone to take control
- Pour the ashes on the ground. There was a lot of them and it was nothing like in the movies. Maybe we needed some background music...
- Carefully back away from the area so you don't stand on your beloved relative
- Enjoy a picnic and glass of bubbly, don't think about the fact that you haven't washed your hands since the above

*Yes, he actually wrote a whole folder of "handover notes" before he died, including the speeches to be read at his funeral and how to look after the garden. A control freak to the end and we will always miss his organisational skills, not to mention his bear hugs and generous, kind spirit <3